I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
