I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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