i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
