Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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