Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
