I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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