I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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