I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
