Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
