all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
