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why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
