he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
