last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
