I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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