think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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