So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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