Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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