You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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