if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
