and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
