you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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