he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize