and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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