you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize