For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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