you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
false alarm, still single
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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