And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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