you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
