If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
