I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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