He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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