i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize