we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
