I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
