Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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