I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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