it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
