I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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