I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
