I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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