Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
