The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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