New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
