Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
