You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
