I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
