I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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