I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
