smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
