I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
