I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The maid of honor just puked.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
