Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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