Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
