Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
