why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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