Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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