well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize