I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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