I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
