Welp...herpes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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