you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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