So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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