By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
