god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
