I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
