Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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