that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
