it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
