mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
