how can u be prego again
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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