wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
